"Holding Back?"

On occasion, I find myself in conversations with people who choose to share with me why they have chosen to not become Christians (or at least the reasons they delay in becoming Christians).  Sometimes they may even share why they feel some hostility towards the church and pretty much let it be appear that they would just as soon have a root canal as come to church. 

I appreciate their willingness to trust me enough to make themselves vulnerable to me in baring their hearts as they seek to explain the “whys” and “wherefores” of their resentment or fear of church... if not out-and-out hostility towards it.  In fact, I’m honored by their confidence.  And I especially appreciate their willingness to talk about it for their own sake. 

They’ll share with me about hypocrisy that they’ve witnessed.  Or they’ll refer to some “Christians” who, somewhere and at some point, were cold and indifferent.  They’ll perhaps mention Church people in their past who were all about condemnation of others while exalting themselves and their own “holiness.” 

As they share, I find it impossible, of course, to attempt to excuse the bad behavior of someone in their past.  Additionally, since I (generally) don’t know the people to whom they refer, it is impossible for me to really form my own opinions of their behavior and discern if the one talking to me is justifiably angry and upset, or is perhaps looking with a distorted perspective, misunderstanding the words and deeds of others. 

Be that as it may, our conversations ultimately drift towards the subject of how the person sharing is him- or herself responding to the information that they feel they’ve gleaned. 

Honestly, there are times when folks eventually begin to show that their concerns are not real concerns, but perhaps hide deeper spiritual issues that they may or may not recognize.  For example, Joe (an imaginary person) may blame Aunt Ellie’s “FOSE” for his reluctance to attend church, talk about spiritual things, or make a personal commitment to trust and follow Christ. 

Oh.  Maybe you don’t know what FOSE is.  Well, don’t look it up in the dictionary; I made the word up.  It stands for “Flamboyant Outbursts of Spiritual Excitement”. 

Maybe Joe’s embarrassed by how Aunt Ellie claps out of rhythm... VERY LOUDLY.  Okay... so maybe every time her hands come together everybody else in the building stops what they’re doing and looks her way… with poor old Joe blushing an amazingly deep fire-engine red. 

In truth, he would like to have the confidence that his eternal peace with God has been secured but he’s afraid of what his co-workers and friends might think so he throws up a smokescreen for others and, maybe, even for himself. 

Another example is Ruthie (another imaginary person).  She says that she resents the hypocrisy that she sees at church.  “Why go if they’re all a bunch of hypocrites, right?” 

In reality, she simply likes her life… a lot.  She doesn’t have any particular desire to change anything, being perfectly happy with her friends, her job, her hobbies, her family, etc.  Placing her faith in Jesus for salvation makes sense in her head, but her heart is contented with everything the world has been serving up to her.  She fears that in following Him, she’ll have to begin making some choices about her priorities.  She’s afraid that He’ll say to her what He said to the disciples when He called them, “Follow Me.”  So now, when someone suggests that she attend church, she pulls out her handy-dandy, sure-fire reason for not going.  The person who invites her backs off, not sure how to respond to Ruthie’s objection and so she continues to contentedly live her life the way she wants. 

And then there is Carl, who feels the stirrings of something, a hunger for more perhaps.  His defense is to wear a mask of cynicism, to keep what he calls “over-reactive Bible thumpers” at a safe distance, all the while weighing their words with their life-styles.  He’s know some Christians who seemed no different than anyone else in the world, but then there have been a few whose joy, compassion, courage and patience have seemed almost supernatural. 

So Carl probes into the life of his co-worker, Leonard, a quiet, but peaceful Christian.  Carl likes to play “devil’s advocate” (no pun intended) with Leonard, sometimes to amuse himself in trying to upset Leonard (who doesn’t often cooperate and chooses to patiently withstand Carl’s taunts).  But sometimes he asks because he really wants to know why Leonard’s life is so different:  safe problems and same headaches, but a completely different outlook on them. 

But there are times when we may meet a person who has really and genuinely been hurt, been misused or abused, or has witnessed others being victimized by someone allegedly from “the church”.  Their reaction?  Anger, of course.  And then sweeping generalizations about other Christians.  And then, horror of horrors, mistaken conclusions about God Himself. 

Maybe they’ve heard about some abuse at the hands of a “church leader” in a news story.  Perhaps some immoral act or behavior comes to their attention.  Or, it may be, they heard of someone who helped him or herself to others’ money illegally… or at least inappropriately. 

I understand the confusion and hurt in this latter case.  And God understands infinitely more clearly than I do.  However, no one is released from accountability before God just because someone else was “messing with our minds”.  God will indeed hold those folks accountable who are “leaders” in the church but have violated the calling God has given them.  Though they dash to the ground the fact that He had entrusted them with abilities and opportunities to serve Him, they are each accountable to God for the ways that they have lived. 

Have you been hurt in the past by someone in the church?  The Lord understands… He understands and He cares.  Yet… He looks to you to let go of the past and to look to Him.  He urges you to surrender  your will, receive His gift of reconciliation, and walk a new path by His side. 

Though you and I may say, “But I was hurt in the past!”  His reply is, “Yes, I know.  I was there and I saw it all.  I’ll take care of it.  But what about YOU?  Why won’t YOU walk with me?  It’s the only way to happiness and fulfillment, you know.  You were created for Me and My purposes.  Why won’t YOU receive the gift of life I would give to you?  You can see that I gave My very best in giving up My Son for your sin.  Why hesitate and maybe miss your opportunity to have eternal life?” 

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.  Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because He has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son (John 3:16-18 NIV). 

Well, I’m outta here.  If you need anything, just drop me a line.  I think that I'll go now and have a FOSE.

(Thom Mollohan and his family have ministered in southern Ohio the past 15  years and is the  author of The Fairy Tale Parables:  Classic Fairy Tales Pointing to God's Love and Truth.  He is the pastor of Pathway Community Church and may be reached for comments or questions by email at pastorthom@pathwaygallipolis.com).